I'm not a good blogger anymore. It pains me. I have an idea though! Are you ready? I think I've had somewhat unrealistic expectations for this blog. I've expected it to be poetic and moving and deep. But whatever. I'm throwing caution to the wind. I like writing about life lessons I've been learning, it's kind of my shtick. But ... I hand write those in my (no offense) real journal. It flows better. It feels realer. So what do I do with you, new pretty little blog of mine? Well for one, I'm a perv. I will let you know that now. I'm sitting with Lori at Shades of Brown and she's talking to her mother about her day and Lori says "He just wanted to unload on someone." Does that make you think of cum?

Anyway, it's been a good long while since I've sat at Shades, and an even longer time since I've sat at Shades with Lori. This is where we came to have late-night yummies on the first night we hung out. It was rainy, much like tonight, but warmer. I was wearing a long skirt, layered with fabric so thin it draped like tissues. That's not a very pretty description, but hey, it's what it reminds me of. Lori's bosoms were spilling out of her shirt. It was glorious. We sat and conversed and giggled like little girls until the shop closed down and we had to make the rainy walk to our cars, where we sat and conversed and giggled like little rain-drenched girls. It's become our forte ever since. Sitting in a car while the rain falls around us, listening to music that moves us, spilling our guts to someone who really listens. As our friendship unfolded we unfolded our hearts to each other more and more, savoring every chance we had to play and pose and be ourselves.

And so here we are, almost two years later, back where we started. Happier than we started. We're both in love. With boys. Our mother's are proud. We sit and drink our coffees and slurp them through Tim Tams and discuss all the emotional storms we've weathered, and how wonderful and patient our boyfriends have been. Recently I had the epiphany that I have a deep-seated jealousy towards Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and have wished I was red haired and pale since my formative years. My boyfriend Andrew's response to this: "I love you, beautiful, even when you're jealous of cartoon characters." True love? I think so. But when I meet the end of my long journey home from Arkansas, torn from the goodbyes, I come to Lori. I sleep beside her so I can wake up to someone I love's breathing. Sometimes we even spoon.

Lori and I met each other during the beginning of a crash course in life. It's been stressful and painful and scary most of the time. But one thing I've learned about life is how incredibly bittersweet everything (and I mean everything) can be. It pains me to think that this time at Shades is amongst the last I'll be spending with Lori before she leaves the nest and flies off to live in a van with three gross musicians. But deep down, she's a pretty gross musician herself, and it really is swell. It'll be good for her to be among her own kind. But I sure will miss those titties =)