I'm a tree hugger, baby, so why don't you kill me?

All day long I've been thinking about starting a new blog. Maybe not all day, but a hefty portion of it. I got to thinking about all the different random and occasionally pretentious things I'll be rambling about. There is so much to tell. Oh the sweet, sweet joy of blogging. I've missed it so. I tend to get bored with my blogs as time goes on. I wind up just leaving them to starve, much like my stuffed animals and newborn children. Once the infatuation wears out, what is there to do really? Blog somewhere else is the answer. So here I am. I was just kidding about the stuffed animals, by the way.

A leaf just got wisped across the cement walkway outside! I didn't even know leaves still existed anymore. I thought they'd all shriveled and frozen and disintegrated in the outside cold, much like my newborn children. Woah! There's daylight too?! Jesus Christ, my instinct to hibernate is dwindling! The wintertime doesn't suit me well. I usually get glum and lazy, and wind up drawing pictures of trees that don't look like Calista Flockhart. All the trees around me are leafless and tired looking, and I miss when they were full and alive.

I have a strange attachment to trees. My best guess is that it started when I was born. A friend of the family gave me a peach tree as a Welcome to the Big Womb present. It was planted right off the porch in our backyard. I loved it. I grew with it, and every year around my birthday it gave me peaches to eat. I don't remember if they were delicious or juicy or pretty. But I remember being made happy by them. I remember knowing that it was a shamefully small tree, but liking that it suited me just right. I remember standing next to it barefoot with my short little mama, picking the peaches and saying "Thank you" to my tree. It was my friend. I think I might have named it.

So I like my trees living, and happy, and swaying about, thank you very much. On my 20th birthday when I got off work, I went to Woodward Park. It was a gray day, and smooth, warm rain was pouring from the sky. I changed into my normal attire - t-shirt, flowy skirt, and flip flops - in the car and grabbed my umbrella and took a stroll. I was the only person in the entire park. I walked between the trees and over hills and splashed through puddles and twirled around and sang and prayed that I would grow to find peace and understanding in my life, and that god would open my heart to whatever makes me love him/her more.

And that is what I intend to share in this blog, because there are a lot of things that have happened since then that I am ashamed to say I have not taken note of. Experiences and epiphanies galore! Of course, I will be updating any time I have a burp that reminds me of a particular song. But I think this will be a good outlet for me to share this point in my life with whoever will read this, which very well could be no one at all. But my words will be "out there" and that's good enough for me.

Until next time, my dears.
all is full of love.

-Abs